America’s First Bullet Train Cures Cades Cove Car Conundrum
America’s First Bullet Train Cures Cades Cove Car Conundrum. Traffic jams in Great Smoky Mountains National Park have reached epic proportions as annual visitation exceeds twelve million people annually. Cades Cove is often the epi-center of the traffic frustration.
The scenic eleven mile drive on the Western edge of the national park is literally being loved to death. Frequent “bear jams” can turn a leisurely two hour drive into a bumper to bumper free for all lasting upwards of ten hours. But all of that is about to change with the new Cades Cove bullet or “Maglev” train.
Maglev technology is nothing new to Asian countries with trains exceeding over 200 miles per hour. A traditional diesel train engine is not required. The Cades Cove train will be electromagnetically suspended above the track and literally propelled by magnetic force. The magnetic tech requires thousands of mega-watts of electricity which will be provided by the new Cable Mill solar array.
“The new Cades Cove bullet train will be a revolution to each park visitors experience,” said National Park spokesperson J. K. Reelly. “Once all the passengers are aboard we will safely transport visitors around the cove. We will be able to reach famous land marks such as the historic Cable Mill in less than thirty seconds from our terminal at the cove entrance. Train passengers will enjoy full service while aboard the train including a complimentary set of steak knives from the good people at Ginsu.“
The projects contract was awarded to the Ginsu Corporation after an intense bidding war in late 2017. The contract includes provisions to protect the natural beauty of the cove and it’s historical treasures.
“Everyone at Ginsu was thrilled to be a part of this project and to work with the national park service,” said Ginsu media representative We’ar Sharpe. “We found that our amazing saws and knives are extremely adapt at clearing the appalachian forests for the new track and could therefore be more competitive with our bid.“
All aboard the Cades Cove Express and let’s glide into the future of Cades Cove’s historic past!
April Fools!
